Bureaucracy sucks. Bureaucracy sucks everywhere- it sucks in the US, it sucks in the UK, and if there were bureaucracy in Antarctica, it would suck, too. But the bureaucracy in China S!U!C!K!S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is inefficient, unreasonable, and obtuse! Chinese bureaucracy is it's own level in Hell.
Today I present two tales of bureaucratic idiocy. I tried to make them more quirk, and less rant, but I'm not sure I succeeded.
#1
Tiffany and I needed to transfer money back home, so we went to the bank with Tarina, a receptionist with a bank account at one of the major banks just for the foreign teachers to transfer money.
The proper paperwork was in a back office. First they brought out only one copy, even though both Tarina and Tiffany requested two. So they fetched me a second, and while I was filling it out, a clerk went off in search of another because Tiffany's writing was "not comprehensible." (I put that in quotes because it was patently untrue, but we'll get to that.) Between the two of us, we went through six forms, and it took until the fourth copy for someone to bring out extras. You know, just in case.
Up at the counter, computer and calculator right there in front of her, the teller made Tiffany calculate how much USD her Chinese money would exchange into.
After a good twenty-minutes to a half-hour Tiffany was finally able to return to work, and it was my turn.
First it was the paperwork. Here is an excerpt from the copy I filled out:
They made me fill out a new sheet because of the cross-out. I was annoyed, but not surprised.
On the second copy, Tarina offered to fill it in, but I declined. 'No no no, I have nice handwriting, Tiffany checked it.' I got as far as the very first line. Let's see!
Do you see that little line within the loop of the 6? That's my original 6. Tarina stopped me, and showed it to the teller, who couldn't tell that it was a 6!!! They use Western/Arabic numerals here. More often than they use Chinese numerals! So then, Tarina redrew the 6 "properly," and they told her that 'no, that wasn't going to work.' We had to fill out an entirely new sheet!!
This time I just let Tarina do it.
Are you kidding me?!?!?! This is where failing to teach your populace independent, creative problem-solving thought processes gets you: a bank teller who is so incompetent she can't reason that my 6 is a 6.
Arg, just thinking about it makes me frustrated all over again. I need a break.
Oookay, we got the paperwork filled out, so the next step was the money. Even though they had done it for Tiffany who also has a different bank, they refused to withdraw the money from my bank account because I use a different bank than Tarina. So we spent another thirty minutes going down the street to a branch of my bank, withdrawing money (the only positive in this entire adventure was that they let me fully empty the account), and returning to freakin' finally complete the process.
Two things of note:
A. The branch I withdrew my money from uses a dot matrix printer :) .
B. Also, my bank charges me every time I withdraw money, which is waaay uncool, so I had Tarina ask what the deal was. It turns out, the card came from a branch in Nanjing, a different city, so they charge me for withdrawing money from another jurisdiction or whatever. What. the. hell?!
#2
We weren't the only ones dealing with bank business either. Tino, who is from Switzerland, came in with Meirong (his girlfriend) while we were waiting. Tino had loaned 30,000RMB to the local rugby club, because one of the requirements for official government certification is that they have that much in a bank account. The bank transferred the money, the rugby club took the statement of proof to the government, and the government rejected their application. Because the money had been transferred, instead of deposited. Bureaucracy!
So everyone had to go back to the bank and
1. the rugby head transferred the money back into Tino's account
2. Tino withdrew the money
3. Tino handed the money to the rugby head
4. the rugby head then deposited it back into his account
Today I present two tales of bureaucratic idiocy. I tried to make them more quirk, and less rant, but I'm not sure I succeeded.
#1
Tiffany and I needed to transfer money back home, so we went to the bank with Tarina, a receptionist with a bank account at one of the major banks just for the foreign teachers to transfer money.
The proper paperwork was in a back office. First they brought out only one copy, even though both Tarina and Tiffany requested two. So they fetched me a second, and while I was filling it out, a clerk went off in search of another because Tiffany's writing was "not comprehensible." (I put that in quotes because it was patently untrue, but we'll get to that.) Between the two of us, we went through six forms, and it took until the fourth copy for someone to bring out extras. You know, just in case.
Up at the counter, computer and calculator right there in front of her, the teller made Tiffany calculate how much USD her Chinese money would exchange into.
After a good twenty-minutes to a half-hour Tiffany was finally able to return to work, and it was my turn.
First it was the paperwork. Here is an excerpt from the copy I filled out:
Take note of the 6s. Can you tell what number they are?
They made me fill out a new sheet because of the cross-out. I was annoyed, but not surprised.
On the second copy, Tarina offered to fill it in, but I declined. 'No no no, I have nice handwriting, Tiffany checked it.' I got as far as the very first line. Let's see!
Yes, I saved these until I could take photos of them. I wanted proof.
Do you see that little line within the loop of the 6? That's my original 6. Tarina stopped me, and showed it to the teller, who couldn't tell that it was a 6!!! They use Western/Arabic numerals here. More often than they use Chinese numerals! So then, Tarina redrew the 6 "properly," and they told her that 'no, that wasn't going to work.' We had to fill out an entirely new sheet!!
This time I just let Tarina do it.
'If we're going to talk about writing things incorrectly then I feel obligated to inform you that that is not an "E"!'
Are you kidding me?!?!?! This is where failing to teach your populace independent, creative problem-solving thought processes gets you: a bank teller who is so incompetent she can't reason that my 6 is a 6.
Arg, just thinking about it makes me frustrated all over again. I need a break.
Aw, cute!
Oookay, we got the paperwork filled out, so the next step was the money. Even though they had done it for Tiffany who also has a different bank, they refused to withdraw the money from my bank account because I use a different bank than Tarina. So we spent another thirty minutes going down the street to a branch of my bank, withdrawing money (the only positive in this entire adventure was that they let me fully empty the account), and returning to freakin' finally complete the process.
Two things of note:
A. The branch I withdrew my money from uses a dot matrix printer :) .
B. Also, my bank charges me every time I withdraw money, which is waaay uncool, so I had Tarina ask what the deal was. It turns out, the card came from a branch in Nanjing, a different city, so they charge me for withdrawing money from another jurisdiction or whatever. What. the. hell?!
#2
We weren't the only ones dealing with bank business either. Tino, who is from Switzerland, came in with Meirong (his girlfriend) while we were waiting. Tino had loaned 30,000RMB to the local rugby club, because one of the requirements for official government certification is that they have that much in a bank account. The bank transferred the money, the rugby club took the statement of proof to the government, and the government rejected their application. Because the money had been transferred, instead of deposited. Bureaucracy!
So everyone had to go back to the bank and
1. the rugby head transferred the money back into Tino's account
2. Tino withdrew the money
3. Tino handed the money to the rugby head
4. the rugby head then deposited it back into his account
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