Fresh jackfruit is *not* good.

You know how fresh pineapple and canned pineapple taste different? So too do fresh jackfruit and canned jackfruit. But where fresh pineapple and canned pineapple are equally delicious (even if one is superior to the other), canned jackfruit has a distinct epicurean advantage over fresh. But I get ahead of myself.


Jackfruit is a big fruit that looks similar to a durian, although, according to Venerable Potentate Wikipedia, the two fruits aren't related. You can see a couple hiding behind the spiky durians in my grocery store photo:

Just like it's non-relation, fresh jackfruit does not have an awesome scent. In fact, the stench I had attributed solely to the durian is actually the result of the jackfruit joining forces with the durian, releasing it's own acrid perfume to mix with the durian's putrid scent in order to create the smell of pure evil.

jackfruit segments

(When jackfruit and durians are purchased separately, the negative smell factor declines just a bit.)

I bought some fresh jackfruit segments because I enjoy canned jackfruit: there's a pho restaurant in Bellingham that makes divine jackfruit smoothies. The taste of canned jackfruit is hard to describe: it's like a cross between a mango and a pineapple and a banana. "Pinanago," if you will. The taste of fresh jackfruit is easier to describe. It's like pinanago with hints of dirty sock. Or in gourmand terms, "gross." Soaking that [expletive deleted] in sugar water sure makes a hell of a difference!

Fresh Lychees!

Lychees are one of my most favorite fruits! And oh. my. god! it's a shame fresh lychees aren't available back home.

(Unless they are? Maybe I just never noticed?)

 I had to use a knife to make a starter cut into the shell,

 but then it was easily peeled off.

And soon there was nothing left but the pit!

Chinese Bayberries

You may remember that my previous encounter with Chinese bayberries was unpleasant. But you probably don't, so I will remind you: they were dried, they were soaked in black licorice flavoring, and they were awful.


Fresh Chinese bayberries are in season now, and I was anticipating trying them in their original, unperverted form.

They taste almost exactly like strawberries, with a little cranberry thrown in. Texture was like nothing I can describe though. It's like... you know how orange segments are made up of little...juice pockets? Each tiny bump on the bayberry is actually the tip of a long fibrous-juice-pocket-thingy attached to the pit at the center. It makes for a very odd feeling pulp.

If you enlarge the photo, you might be able to see what I'm trying to describe.

Verdict: fresh Chinese bayberries are a fun, tasty fruit. I give them a definite A grade.

Crazy Weird Bird

This bird, with a really long (grey) beak that it was using to dig around in the dirt, was outside the front office of the school the other day. If you care at all about this sort of thing, it might be worth enlarging the photo to give it a closer look.

Chelsea, starring in "Whoa, Don't Touch Me!"

I do not enjoy clothes shopping (or, honestly, shopping in any small store) in China*, and I lay my objections squarely at the feet of the salesgirls.


First, let me explain what I do appreciate when I'm shopping: a question about whether  I need any assistance when I walk in, more than a few clerks available go give me that assitance, and an entire staff that'll leave me alone to shop. Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy.


But here, here, sales staff attach themselves to me like a long-lost shadow the minute I walk in the door. In fact, sometimes I just peer into a shop from outside, and they'll eagerly make a move toward me. I can tell them "I'm just looking" in Chinese---a phrase I was compelled to get Tiffany to teach me shortly after arriving---and they'll still eagerly trail me through the racks like monosodium on glutamate. Showing me different styles of something I glance at, attempting to take clothes from my arms until I'm ready to try them on, asking me questions even after I've said "I don't understand," and generally being annoying and unhelpful.
And the thing is, they're not simply trying to sell me stuff. They're actually trying to be helpful. Which, for the average Chinese customer, they are being. That's the customer - retail clerk relationship here: the retail clerk waits on the customer in an overly-attentive way, and the customer expects and appreciates the service. But for someone who,
  A. likes to shop without being bothered
  B. comes from a culture where being tailed by sales staff means you're a candidate for
   theft
  C. does not like to have people hovering over her, to the point that she has a hard time
   doing it as a teacher, to students, even though it's a common motivation technique
it's a very uncomfortable, frustrating experience.
I like going to bigger, more metropolitan cities like Shanghai. It's less of a problem there.


A perfect example of the too personal, too hands-on service---and the inspiration for the title of this post---occurred the other day. I was shopping with Tiffany when I found a skirt I wanted to try on. After just slipping it on over the dress I was wearing, I left the mirror-less dressing room to check it out in a mirror outside the stall. The dress underneath made it sit a little funny, so as I was fidgeting with it to get an idea of how it might appear if I were wearing it in an appropriate manner, a sales girl reached around me from behind and began to help me rearrange the waistline of the skirt. I don't know about you, but I've never had that happen before, so I was completely caught off guard. I immediately jumped away from her, waving my hands, shaking my head, and alternately saying "no-no-no" in English, and "thank you" in Chinese, over and over while Tiffany laughed.


In conclusion, here's a photo of the Chinglish shirt I couldn't not buy from a Chinese clothing chain I really enjoy.

 the

DESTINY

NiGHT

Chelsea Couture

 love and carbon burns must try

to cool it let it

 wilfully it took a heart burn

MAGIC PARTY

*As usual, when I refer to "China," the subtext is "Yancheng, China" unless otherwise specified. Because in a country that's 9,596,961 square kilometers, there's bound to be more than a little cultural diversity.

Old Domiciles

I don't have anything interesting to comment on just now, so here are some random photos I've taken while wandering around through older neighborhoods.

Photos of People

If you enjoy photos of "people," like I enjoy photos of people, you should check out the fabulous collection of photos from Vivian Maier over at Mother Jones.

If you don't care about people-centered photography, here's a photo I took of some girls around lunchtime. Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

Happy Rapture!

Seeing as how this is China, I'll be here tomorrow, reporting how nothing's changed.

[via the interwebs]

Morning Commutes

I had to get up real early on Monday and go meet Scott and Tiffany at the corner of their street. While I was waiting I took photos of people going about their day. I wasn't really on my game, so they're not great, but they're still worth posting. [And they might be worth clicking on, to see in greater detail.]

This fabulous fashionista is one of Yancheng's resident crazy people. She shouts obscenities at anyone who attracts her attention, which thank goodness, wasn't me.

Off to do his Taichi.

 

Loaded down with vegetables for a restaurant.

The grass she's carrying is usually grilled. I think it's lemongrass, but we don't really know.

breakfast on the go

"Spanglish" is quite a different movie in Russian...

English cover:

Russian cover:

(that's Russian, right?)

Intriguing Pollution Sun

Adventures in Chinglish

Day 3 of the Splendiferous Chinglish Burn Off!

Either the relationship-situation described here means something entirely different in China, or the copywriter is confused about the meaning of "paradise"...

Ouch! SO close!!!
(Can you spot the error?)
[Or maybe the errors? I guess there could really be more than one that my brain's just correcting for.]

Adventures in Chinglish

Day 2 of the Fantabulous Chinglish Burn Off!

this sweatshirt is absolutely classic Engrish

Well, that's certainly a far cry from "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

Adventures in Chinglish

I've been kind of ill lately, and uninterested in posting. (Or really any other activity that doesn't include the letters s, l, e, e, & p.) Therefore, in the next few days I'm going to embrace my uninspired lassitude, and take the opportunity to burn off a bunch of random, mildly interesting, Chinglish photos I've taken. Enjoy!

sweatshirt

♪ They paved paradise / And put up a parkingcot ♫

Something Good 

And I ve learned that if you do 

you are living your life fully.

Sign Roundup

If you don't remember, or don't know, I like signs!

It reads "Japanese people are forbidden to enter." The sign went up in a store window just after the earthquake disaster in Japan. The enduring animosity the Chinese hold for the Japanese is pretty damn justified, but this is the only overt message I've seen, and it's up in a store that primarily sells Japanese anime action figures...

an optometrist's shop 

 this one doesn't really need commentary

 This restaurant's icon is a rip-off of popular Chinese antagonist, Big Bad Wolf, from the cartoon, Pleasant Goat and Big Bad Wolf.

What happened to his feet?