Happy Hallowmas! ... "Hallowmas"??

 Two full-time and several part-time native English-speakers in the office and the Marketing department didn't think it prudent to run this past anyone?!

PS: Hallowmas is a thing--it's normally called All Saints' Day, November 1st--but it's not "Halloween."

Angelic Tiffany and Victoria the Masked

Braham the Pirate in Gold-Lamé

 

Chelsea of the Interesting Hair

I think we might have a language barrier here... [a survey]

I'm taking Chinese classes at one of the local colleges "universities." I'm pretty sure I annoy the heck out of the professor: I'm not very good at being an obedient Chinese student, and I'm unconcerned with the fact that I'm struggling way behind the other foreign students. Who don't work. And who've taken Chinese previously in Korea. And whose native language, according to some-guy-on-the-internet-whom-I-haven't-fact-checked, shares pronunciation characteristic with Mandarin.


On Thursday, I had a big argument with the professor over the proper answer to a question about a dialogue. Our clash ended when I realized that the difference in opinion might be a cultural difference in the connotative meaning behind the pertinent words. I'd be really grateful if y'all can help me out by giving me your own answer in the survey down below. In a future post I'll lay out what I am looking for.


 One or two word answers will be perfect!

Just answer as if you were having the conversation yourself.

Omas: Milk's Favorite Cookie!

Farm Fresh. *Really*.

Since small snails are no stranger to the Chinese dinner table, I suppose this actually might be a purchasing-incentive. "Buy this bok choy, get a tasty snail free!"

Warning: Cigarette display protected by adorable guard animal.

No photos, pets, or *people* in this mall!

(Okay, yeah, that actually says no loitering, but still, it's funny!)

Counting with your hands in Chinese

I didn't know before I came to China that the Chinese have a different method of hand-counting than the rest of the world. Because of this I bought the wrong kind of dumplings once, but that's another uninteresting story.
They do it all on one hand, which I like a lot better- it's more convenient. To see it, click on this link, or the wikipedia screenshot below.

Good Lord! Just Pick *One* Cartoon Theme!!

Being the Queen of Visual Overkill, it's kind of weird being in Yancheng (and perhaps all of China), a city whose style is so mind-blowingly awkward and commercial that I reflexively cringe every time I realize I have to buy something with a surface on which an obnoxious image can be slapped.

Here's a great example:

On a single desk someone managed to tastefully include the QQ Penguins, Hello Kitty, and Pleasant Goat and the Big Bad Wolf.

That... doesn't mean what you think it does.

Someone's Personal Stereotypes Revealed!

The existing curriculum at my current school is usually a mix of prescribed program plans and teacher-contributed supplemental materials. I about died when I found these "passports" in a lesson on air travel:

 

unfocused eyes, but not really that bad...

...until you notice that the Chilean person just the Brazilian person with longer hair. South Americans are all the same people, right?

 

 'Kay...

 Oh Dear God what did the Germans do to you?!

Barbie, meet Bertha.

In the United States we have Barbie, in Japan girls play with Jenny, and a parent in China can purchase... Bertha. Or Barrie. Or Bijiale. Or Pattaya Love. Or, if Modern Girl, Fashion Girl, and Beautiful Girl are too showy for you, simply, Girl.
Let's compare, shall we?

Bertha & Bertha (Deluxe)

Ooh! She's friends with Snow White and a criminal sketch artist's version of Belle

Barrie: Beautiful Girl Set

Now, although Barrie here is missing that all important fourth-letter 'b' in here name, she still boasts "Handsome Appearance", "Vivid and Great in Style!", and "Various dress styles!" And, she promises "More new item coming soon!"

Bijiale: Beautiful Girl Set, Fad disport

This photo is quite poor, but I got a good shot of the important parts, below.

 "Best gifts for children!" 

There is a caveat for perspective parents however:

"Specifications colours and contents may vary from illustrations. Please remove packaging and attachments before giving this toy to the child. Please retain packaging for future reference."

Pattaya Love

 Collect them all!

Modern Girl

"New Fashion! Versatile! Beautiful Girls!"

Fashion Girl

"come dlickly to collect them all!!"

(oh dear.)

Beautiful Girl

"Completely new to come into the market!! This is a colleclion that you can't miss!"

Girl

I'm curious as to who or what the sticker with the Chinese girl is referencing.

"Alan Eugene Jackson (born October 17, 1958) is an American country music singer..."

While in Shanghai last week, we visited Ikea. After we made our purchases, but before Tiffany had finished with hers, Emily and I ended up hanging out at a front showcase, where I blithely picked up this display book:

Emily, horrified by our discovery.

I opened it up, expecting to find McCarthy's articulate, resonant prose translated into incomprehensible Swedish gibberish, and instead found this:

Page after page after page of the same excerpt...

A book-page length portion of Alan Jackson's Wikipedia biography, copied+pasted with the footnote links left in.




We checked: all the rest of the books on display, including a Toni Morrison book, were actual Swedish translations of the real thing. Or, at least, some legitimate story -- I don't know, I don't read Swedish.

Adventures in Chinglish: China Love Earth

A set of pens:

Adventures in Chinglish: More Menu Mischief

In addition to photos of a local restaurant's new ad, I am embedding Cooking with Babelfish, a recent skit from Cracked that is even funnier in light of the few tasty menu treats I've posted in here on my blog.

Beware, flavor food was food, but not anymore!

 

Adventures in Chinglish: Restaurant Delicacies

More and more restaurants in Yancheng are making an effort at including English translations on their menu. The results are awesome!

These are not, as I initially suspected, demon uteruses, but are actually water caltrops, a water vegetable known to transmit Fasciolopsiasis. Yum!

"Does the pot beloved daughter"

As in, the pigeon raised itself to be eaten?

This one was especially confusing because I read it as "green ball," which makes sense. According to the dictionary, qing1/青 can mean "young," and tuan2/团 also means "group," or, league.

And my absolute favorite: